Evreything you want
by Siriuslee
Summary: Remus dosent knows who to trust, when he over comes his self doubt will he find happiness or only be hurt more? Contains light slash SBRL


Warning: light m/m slash if you don't like it don't read it NO flames about it!

A/N : This was inspired by every thing you want by Vertical Horizon

Thanks to my friend Heathor for being my lovely, lovely beta, with my poor grammar and spelling she must have the patients of a saint!

Dedicated to Sami (Rem), one of my best friends, for loaning me your vertical horizon CD, and sitting with me and helping me form this fic idea over the hours we've spent at Churchill's. Thanks to James too, for sitting there with us and tolerating our obsessive fic chatter.

R/R please!

I love you all!

Everything You Want

You're sitting alone in the 7th year boys dorm.

Suddenly you hear voices from the quiet common room, its Sirius and James.

Back from Quidditch practice

_You know it's Sirius, it has to be. You don't know why he would betray you, Peter, James...Lilly, go over to the dark lord...you thought that he was above his family's bigotry, that after his brother he would be loyal to only Dumbledore._

_You just can't believe it, he's your best friend._

Your first friend if you're honest with yourself. You wouldn't be here with out him.

You were sure, that even he wouldn't stay with you after he found out what you are, but he did.

And in the summer he manages to come over, since 3rd year there hasn't been a full moon you've had to go through without him. You love him for that.

Your head keeps telling you that it must be Sirius who is the traitor, that you have got to turn him in to Dumbledore or even the ministry, but your heart keeps telling you that this isn't_ Sirius Rudolphis Nicolas Black, e_ldest son and heir to the family Black, he's your Padfoot.

Charismatic, fun loving, life of the party, cheer you up when your down Padfoot.

He's everything you want, and want to be.

But you're about to turn him in like some recycled rubbish,

like he means nothing to you, and you don't know if you can do it.

Since Lilly told you she was pregnant, and you found out that there was a traitor among you, you've been trying to become more detached. Sirius won't allow it, he keeps you close, keeps watching you like he's afraid something's going to happen to you.

You wish he would talk to you more, really talk to you. You want to hear him say all the things you hear James tell Lilly. _"It's going to be ok, I'll take care of you, I Love you."_

But you're not one to be forward, you're a patient man. You can wait, and watch. That's what your good at. You're an observer. You don't just charge blindly into the unknown, you like to know the consequences to your actions beforehand.

This time though you don't know how much time there is left to wait.

You've made up you're mind,

you scrawl a note on a spare peace of parchment,

Dear Padfoot,

I know Dumbledore told us to trust no one,

and you'll think I'm off my rocker for telling you this, but

I just wanted to tell you that I do trust you.

I love you Sirius.

I'm sorry,

Moony

You leave the note on Sirius's bed.

Then you lie back down and fall asleep.

Later that night you wake up in the pitch black dorm room, with a body curled up against your back.

You stiffen, alarmed and confused, but only for a moment.

Then you realize...it's Sirius.

He whispers in your ear, "Do you know Moony, that you're everything I want?"

Your eyes widen, your mouth is gaping, you look far from eloquent.

It doesn't matter though, it's too dark to see anything, and you're grateful for that when Sirius starts trailing kisses down your neck and back.

You've never been happier.

You can trust again, you can love and there is not a doubt in your mind that Sirius loves you

And that you can trust him completely.

You graduate together, move into a small flat in London.

The war is still on, but you're happy.

Lilly had the baby, it's a boy, they named him Harry after James' dad.

Sirius is their secret keeper, so you know they are safe.

A few weeks later your world comes crashing down around you.

Halloween was a full moon.

You were going to meet Sirius at the shrieking shack, but he was running late, too late, you transform without him there, and wake up the next morning bruised, bleeding, and alone. That was one of the worst transformations you've ever endured.

You come home the next night, and find Dumbledore in your flat waiting for you. You've never seen that look on his face before...

James and Lilly are dead,

so is Peter,

You will probably never see baby Harry again,

Sirius has been sent to Azkaban,

and it's all his fault.

You feel sick, and you almost collapse from exhaustion.

You start shaking and you fall back onto the sofa, Dumbledore holds you close, rocking you as you sob.

It doesn't matter that Voldemort has been defeated, you're alone now, and you were a fool to have ever trusted Sirius Black...

You cry yourself to sleep that night, alone in your flat, in the bed that you used to share with Sirius.

You're going to be spending a lot of time alone from now on.

Please tell me what you think, no flames please.

Thanks for taking the time to read it.

Siriuslee


End file.
